Perfect Parenting and Various Parenting Styles

 

Perfect Parenting

Be kind, smile, give unconditional love, talk less, listen more, forgive, and understand.

What they need Most

love, respect, to have fun, play with them, to be listened, your time and presence, encouragement to try again, room to grow, to be trusted, affection, guidance, unconditional support, acceptance…”I am with you”.

#Children learn more from what you “are” than what you Teach.

#Parents are Guide, Leader, Protector and Providers for their children

#“Two great things you can give your children one is Roots and another is Wings”.

#Love and Respect are the most important aspects of parenting.

#Your children need your “presence” more than your “presents”

#Children close their ears to advice but open their eyes to examples.

#Give them Quality time …

The Styles of Child-Rearing

Parents are the main caregivers for children. Good parenting involves paying attention to and respecting the child’s individuality. Three features differentiate major child-rearing styles: Acceptance of the child and involvement in the child’s life to establish emotional connection; Control of the child to promote mature behavior; and Autonomy granting to encourage self-reliance.  

Based on her research Diana Baumrind identified three initial parenting styles:

Authoritative Parenting,

Authoritarian Parenting, and

Permissive Parenting.

Later Maccoby & Martin expanded upon Baumrind’s three original parenting styles and added Neglectful Parenting style.

1. The Authoritarian Parenting

It is restrictive, punitive style in which parent exhorts the child to follow the parent’s directions and to respect work and efforts. They limit and control the child with little verbal exchange. This type of parenting is low in acceptance and involvement. It is high in both coercive and psychological control, and restricts instead of grants autonomy.

Result: Children of authoritarian parents often are anxious about social comparison, fail to initiate activities and have poor communication skills and are socially incompetent. It is associated with anxious, withdrawn, dependent child behavior, especially among girls, and with high rates of anger, defense and aggression, especially boys. 

2. The Authoritative Parenting

Parent encourages children to be independent but still places limits and control on their behavior. Extensive verbal give and take is allowed. Parents are warm and nurturing towards the child, their children are socially competent, socially responsible and self-reliant. This style is high in acceptance and involvement, emphasizes firm control with explanations, and includes gradual, appropriate autonomy granting.

In middle childhood, effective parents engage in co-regulation, exerting general oversight while permitting children to be in-charge of moment-by-moment decision making. During adolescence, mature autonomy is fostered by parenting that grant young people independence, while maintaining a warm, supportive relationship.

Result: This is best parenting style. It promotes cognitive, emotional and social competency from early childhood onto adolescence.

3. The Permissive/Indulgent (lenient) Parenting

This style is high in acceptance, low in control, and high in autonomy granting. It is a style in which parents are involved with their children but place few demands on them, such parents let their children do what they want and result is the children never learn to control their own behavior, and when they cannot get something they want, they throw temper tantrums.

Result: Children who experience it typically show poor self-control and achievement and, in adolescence, are antisocial. Children of such kind of parents never learn respect for others.

4. Neglectful Parenting: It is a style in which parents are uninvolved in their child’s life. Children have a strong need for their parents to care about them.

When families experience the persistent stressors that accompany poverty, parents become depressed, irritable and distracted. As result, parents become less involved in child rearing, hostile family interactions are increased and children learn worse home environment and their cognitive and emotional well-being suffers profoundly.

Result: Children of this type of parents show social incompetence and lack of self-control and are not able to handle independence.

Other Parenting Styles

5. Over Parenting / Helicopter Parenting

These parents try to involve too much in every aspect of their child’s life. They pay extremely close attention to his or her children’s problem and attempts to sweep all obstacles out of their paths. They are also likely to be aware of who their child is with and how their child is ding in school. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopter, they hover closely overhead, especially during the adolescence and early adulthood years, when a level of independence should be granted.

Result: This type of parenting restricts the child’s ability to act independently and solve his or her own problems.

6. Attachment Parenting

These types of parent have lots of physical contact with their children. They create a safe and secure environment for child. They hold, carry and even co-sleep with their children.

7. Toxic Parenting

This is poor parenting style, with toxic relations between parent and children. Parents neglect the needs of the child and often abuse them. Children of toxic parents have poor self-esteem, they grow up with damages and pass their damage to their own children.

8. Slow Parenting

Parents allow their children to develop their own interests. They let them explore and grow into their own pace. With lots of family time, children are allowed to make their own decisions.